For those of you that have enjoyed my 10 tips on getting the best from Powerpoint, I do a spoof presentation to illustrate the worst ways to use it with some discussion and examples of good practice. Feel free to get in touch if you’d like me to come along and present to your team or group.
Category Archives: fun stuff
letters to the editor #24 – a hung parliament?
Sir
My enthusiasm for a hung parliament has waned since it was brought to my attention that it will not require the use of many lengths of rope and most of the lamp posts along the embankment as I had first thought.
I therefore formally withdraw my support.
Yours faithfully
Disappointed of Dorcan
letters to the editor #37 – car parks and saving the planet
Sir
At what point did the Government rule that one way systems in car parks did not apply? Why are car park owners allowed to waste the planet’s precious resources on painting arrows and erecting signs that no-one follows?
Or could it be that 90% of people operating vehicles (they could not be called drivers) are either blind, stupid or just ignorant? If so, surely getting them off the roads would make a significant reduction in emissions?
I think that we should be told.
Worried of Wiltshire
letters to the editor #23 more joys of shopping
Sir
Whilst in our local Sainsbury’s this morning there was an announcment on the public address regarding their range of East Regs. On enquiring whether they also had West Regs I received a blank stare and felt that security may have been about to be called, so refrained from also enquiring after North and South Regs.
I can’t have been mistaken as the annoucement was made, at a far to strident a volume, several times.
Yours faithfully
Surprised of Swindon
The Joys of Shopping #2 – fun with phrases
So we’re out there amongst the shelves in our favourite supermarket. Maybe some cooked meat? Ah. Cured ham. But cured of what? I mean what did this pig have to be cured of and, having cured it, why then let it die for us to eat? We need answers!
Then there cultured yogurt. Well, you wouldn’t want the uncouth one would you? Just think what that could get up to behind the closed door of your fridge. Coarse sugar in the cupboard is enough hooligan food for any home.
Come on food legislators. These are the issues that are important in food labelling, not messing about over what is or isn’t a sausage.
Filed under fun stuff, The Joys of Shopping
the joys of shopping #1
A new theme of blogs, this time on the joys of shopping. Now please treat these rants with an element of tongue in cheek but, as a grumpy old man, these are all things that annoy me to some degree. I’ve blogged elsewhere about standards (“Why bother? No-one else does.” on another of my blogs), and whether I’m right or wrong, this is how I feel.
To set the scene, I’m in a store on a retail park on the edge of town. As I wander around the aisles Elvis begins to croon “Love me tender, love me tr” bing bong “ Will Alan Smith please come to the back door, Alan Smith to the back door”, “’reams come true” etc. You get the picture? Now Love Me Tender is not, by a long chalk, my favourite Elvis song, but this is close to sacrilege and I start getting these urges to campaign for reinstatement of capital punishment. It’s the same with those idiot DJs who talk over the music; if you’re going to play a song wait until it’s finished before inflicting your banal chatter on your audience.
This especially true when I’m out food shopping with the Wonder of Wokingham and we are deep in meaningful conversation about what we’re going to eat when some oik with no idea of manners will interrupt us with some meaningless, to us, announcement or other. If they want Mary Smith to report to the checkout captain, or some such instruction, and are prepared to interrupt the customers with this request, the surely we should be told why? “Will Mary Smith please report to the checkout captain to be shot for interrupting Elvis” does at least give us some explanation as to why we have been so rudely interrupted even if it does not excuse them having done so.
More joys of shopping another time perhaps.
Filed under fun stuff, random rants, The Joys of Shopping
The Voice of the Bloke at the Back 