Tag Archives: people

by | February 4, 2011 · 10:56 am

Fry’s Japan visit axed over QI row

Isn’t about time we grew up and stopped all this nonsense? I’ve used the old adage sticks and stones more than once in these blogs, and I’ll say it again here.

These are only words. So they offended some people, but so what? I am offended by their offence, so will they retract? Of course not; the whole thing just becomes more and more stupid.

I knew people who suffered dreadfully at the hands of Japanese soldiers in WW2. One had a face that, when viewed from the front, was a perfect curve courtesy of a Japanese rifle butt. These things offend me greatly, but I don’t hold them against any Japanese person that I meet, any more than I hold prison camp atrocities against any Germans I encounter.

Bad taste means no harm and black humour helps get people through their dark days. We all get upset at times and bloody livid at others, but it only harms us when we do. Let it go by and live for the future with a little more tolerance. If we have that, then we might avoid getting into the very situations that led to that summer of 1945 and the terrible price paid on those two fateful days that are behind the remarks that started this.

These things are history; if we’re going to learn from them and improve our behaviour that is fine, remember them for that good reason, but to keep up this culture of taking offence is ridiculous. Where does it end? Should I be trying to stop re-runs of Carry on Cleo because it pokes fun at my ancient ancestors as they were enslaved by the Romans?

I hope that these words do not offend, but, quite honestly, I don’t care. They are an opinion and I am as entitled to it as you are to yours. If we don’t agree it doesn’t matter. The world would be a boring place if there was nothing to debate.

 

 

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by | January 25, 2011 · 7:59 pm

Sian Massey – more media madness

Not only am I appalled by the comments made by TV pundits, but also by the standard of reporting. Sian Massey is a referee, so why, when busily complaining about the behavior of a pair of pundits does a leading daily have to refer to her as “Girl Ref”. Surely that is just as sexist?

In his playing days I was a big fan of Andy Gray. I can still respect what he did on the pitch, but not what he has said about Sian Massey. Utterly disgraceful.

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by | January 9, 2011 · 1:06 pm

bullying by colleagues and what you and the boss can do

An email yesterday somewhat preempted the column I wrote on Friday for my Monday Musing for publication tomorrow (10th January 2011), but I’d like to deal with the specific issue here.

Your boss should not be allowing any form of bullying or harassment, but that does not mean that the victim has no need to do anything themselves. Most of these problems in the workplace are mind games; they are about power and control and many, as in the case in question, can seem very innocuous from the outside.

The problem referred to me is in regard of a colleague who has what I can CJ syndrome. For those not familiar with the world of Reggie Perrin, CJ was his boss, and a running gag through the books and TV series went something like; Reggie “I’ll see you at three on Wednesday”, CJ “Fine, Tuesday at ten”. Whatever Reggie suggested, CJ would want something different, and the email to me was about someone who has a similar problem with a colleague who is always changing meeting times for no apparent reason or finding an excuse for wanting them cancelled at the last-minute.

For me this is classic control freak territory and it is being done for no other reason that to have the upper hand. The perpetrator is getting a kick out of being difficult, so what can you do?

Well, as we’ve established, these things are about control, and part of the problem here is that you are allowing yourself to be a victim of the other person’s actions, so be prepared to make a stand.  In many of these cases it isn’t always easy for the boss to see the problem, so complaining is not always the right answer. If you do the boss has to speak to the other party about the issue and, at that stage, the boss is establishing both viewpoints, however distorted they may be. Do you want them just to act on hearsay? Well, yes you do, but they shouldn’t;t if they are a half decent boss.

What they might do is to tell you to get everything in writing and copy it to everyone concerned. OK, if it’s a direct order then you’ll have to do it, but it isn’t likely to work. The first problem is that it is you who is doing all the writing and that is a waste of your time as well as everyone else’s who has to read what you’ve written. The second problem is that, if your protagonist is one of those who is really unpleasant they will turn this against you. I’ve investigated many bullying and harassment cases and can assure you that the really nasty pieces of work love it when their victim gets into putting it all in writing.

No, you are far better off taking the matter on through your normal ways of working. Don’t let them divert or distract you because your performance will suffer and then you have another problem with your boss looming. Stick to your own agenda. Arrange the meetings with colleagues and, if your tormentor wants to change things, say no and hold the meeting without them. Yes there will be some issues, but tough it out. It soon becomes apparent that they are a pain and behaviour will change. You will never become pals, but if they know that they can’t get under your skin they’ll give up on you and try someone else. When you see who that is, help them overcome the problem.

It is difficult when someone is trying to undermine you, but try to fight your own corner. You have friends and family who can help take your mind off these issues and make you feel good. Whatever you do, don’t sink to the other person’s level; be true to your own standards. Office jerks may seem to do well, but that is an illusion that they like to foster and, while they have you under their thumb, it may look that way to you. Get out from under and you’ll see them for what they are, and that is probably the way everyone else sees them as well.

Keep the faith and feel free to write for advice. I’m happy to help.

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by | January 6, 2011 · 7:50 am

Gerry Rafferty RIP

Sad to hear yesterday of Gerry Rafferty leaving us, but we do have his songs to remember him by.

City to City got me safely home on many a dark night and I wore out three cassette copies before I finally got a car with a CD player. These days it’s on my ipod and is one of the few albums that I look forward to listening to in one go.

Someone who made music that truly touched people and I for one will treasure his songs.

RIP

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by | December 19, 2010 · 3:12 pm

RIP Ralph Coates

I was sad to read that Ralph Coates had passed on. I can remember him from his Burnley days, but mostly from his time at Tottenham where he was a nifty winger and dangerous in the box to boot. To see him taunting a full back or flashing down the line with that comb over streaming behind him he always seemed to be giving his all and he was one of those players that the other teams always seemed to respect.

Sad news to hear that he has gone, and at no age really, but I doubt that I’m the only one with fond memories of his playing days.

Oh for a time when footballers wore proper shorts and played for pleasure rather than the next endorsement deal.

RIP Ralph, and thanks for the memories.

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by | December 18, 2010 · 12:00 pm

Unleashing the inner poet

The Berkshire Belle and I have been together for many years now. Twenty one in fact, if my maths are right, and this for what some who knew us said would be a six week wonder.

Maybe you do try harder the second time around, as it is for us two, but somewhere early on in our time together I decided I would do the twelve days of Christmas backwards. Starting on the 13th December I would produce a card and/or a gift on each day as we ran up the the 25th.

That evolved into a card with a short rhyme (I hesitate to call them poetry) and, apart from one year when things at work were really grim, I was working away and I forgot the 13th (you only have to miss one to screw things up) I’ve done it every year since.

Unless I am going to be away I don’t write them in advance. I’ve tried and it doesn’t work for me. Normally I write them in the half hour before I go to bed and, somehow, something will flow from my heart to my hand, through my pen and onto the card.

Some are nonsense, some are topical (I was always inspired by the calypso), some try to copy the style of something well known and now and again I come up with an epic.

The common thread is that they are written with love. Some come on guys, you don’t have to copy my idea of the 12 days, but why not buy your lady a card that’s blank inside and just write her something to say how much she means to you?

 

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by | December 16, 2010 · 3:15 pm

Networlding Masterclass: 7 Steps that successful networkers know and you need to find out

When and Where

Thursday 10 March 2011

0900 to 1700

Village Hotel Swindon
Shaw Ridge Leisure Park
Whitehill Way,
SN5 7DW  Swindon
United Kingdom

Why you should attend

You will discover why:

  • attracting followers is a fallacy that leads to your time being wasted and your productivity suffering
  • your true network, when you discover it, improves your net worth
  • you will never need to go to a boring, valueless networking function ever again

You will learn how you can:

  • stand out from 3 billion people who will trade/be active on the internet by 2020
  • cut your marketing and sales costs by as much as 50%
  • harness the true power of social networking most people will never discover

Who should attend?

If you are an adviser, accountant, board member, SME business owner, consultant, educator, entrepreneur, executive, intrapreneur, lawyer, leaders, manager, not-for-profit leaders, practice leader, politician, though leader, social entrepreneur, speaker, team leader or trainer – you will gain massively from being part of a networlding group.

Click on the link below for more details and to book your place. Early booking discounts are available.

Swindon Networlding

For SME business owners, non-profit organisations, the WHO is always the final challenge when it comes to finding key influencers and customer groups (or fund givers for non-profits).  Limited marketing budget is the reason many SMEs choose to attending networking events in the hope of chancing on a sale. Why rely on chance? As a community of Networlders, we create a Thoughtful Social Networking experience, both in person and online, to help you to build:

  • better business faster (business growth or a thriving non-profit organisation)
  • better collaboration for innovative ventures (better, faster, stronger)
  • better career faster (career growth)
  • better personal lives faster (personal growth)

Networlding helps you to cultivate advocates for your brand

  • Create great content
  • Get talked about
  • Build a tribe
  • Become a trusted resource for your customers
  • Make it easy for people to find, try and buy from you
  • Make your brand understood, relevant, credible and remarkable
  • Make meaning and create an insanely great customer experience


Networlding is a proven methodology that helps you to grow your network relationships and identify connections and key influencers that matter.

Assuming you are clear about the WHAT, WHY, WHEN and HOW of your goals … you should have a list of WHO’S WHO that you feel can help you (your primary connections).  We are not talking about who you would pay to help you.  We are talking about advocates that will tell others how remarkable you are.

What they say about Networlding

“I have always found myself frustrated with business networking over the years and never really sure why. I have give of myself and done my best. Often coming away with massive numbers of contacts, but this has rarely turned into solid business. Today I think I found out why.  With Networlding you learn from the ground up how to present yourself according to your values and most importantly how to find and keep hold of those precious contacts that suit those values; the ones who will bring you real and valuable future relationships. The ones who care about you not just crash and burn business. In short how to find the other ones like you! What a revelation. Kwai certainly know his stuff and can demonstrate this with personal success too.

And it was obvious I was not alone when the revelation came. Every single person in that room was not only convinced but was by the end of a single day passionate about making each other’s lives better. I have never seen that in any networking group of any kind and I have done them all.  So if you are frustrated with the vapidity of the 50 people in one room but need more than meeting the same six to twenty people over and over again. Can I suggest you consider changing your approach entirely. Don’t be a networker, be a networlder. Take the training day, like I did and work out just where you might have been wrong all these years!” – Jeremy Cobb, Owner of want2change and hypnoslim

“Like all other sectors, charities can benefit from thoughtful social networking.   Kwai’s networlding masterclass is a lovely way of beginning to get your head around the potential for your charity and how you might move forward in good company.  I am thinking through how best we can develop from it.  Thank you.” – Dr Rhetta Moran, Matron, RAPAR

“Superb day! Much of it very different to what I do now.  I see it will enable me to reach so many more people.  Many thanks.” – Roger Jackson. Business For Breakfast Knutsford.

“A must do. Very thought-provoking.” – Ken Lee. BusinessLink Northwest Skills Advisor

“Very interesting and well presented event which promoted great exchanges.” – Eileen Coldrick.  Owner at http://www.worksmartvpa.com

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by | November 29, 2010 · 8:24 am

Actor Leslie Nielsen has died aged 84

Sad news this morning. I was always a fan from the Forbidden Planet days, but feel that his Airplane role defined a whole new genre.

I got a lot of pleasure from his films and TV work and am sad to hear he has departed this life.

RIP

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by | November 27, 2010 · 3:55 pm

Over a year of weekly column writing

It is more than a year since I started writing my weekly column on the Monday Musings blog, and almost a year since I started to make it a 600 word column to try and get some further discipline into my writing.

Others have to be the judge of success, but Monday Musings has been picked up by a professional journal and gets a mention on their web site and in the magazine, so I have acheived something in the way of producing a worthwhile output every week.

When I first blogged about 18 months or so ago I had no concept of finding myself with half a dozen blogs, nor of them generating any revenue, let alone to have written over 275 blog entries. All I wanted was to practice my writing and see where it all led.

Monday Musing number 54 gets published at 0600 UK time next Monday. I hope that I can be celebrating the 100th musing somtime next Autumn.

Thanks for following my words. I hope that they have helped, amused or inspired.

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by | November 24, 2010 · 8:05 pm

The joys of motoring #6

So there I was, heading off up the M5 in Jennifer Jaguar with plenty of time to get round Brum and to my seminar around the M42/M6 interchange when the warning signs told me that the M5 was closed between junctions 6 and 5. Oh, well. Off at J8 and across via Pershore, Evesham and Stratford upon Avon and pick up the route again from that side.

Why is it that some idiot has failed to manage to drive along a piece of road where we’re all going the same way without driving into something? I know that I’ve asked  this before, but I do get the feeling that some people have to take their brains out before they get behind the wheel.

Despite my having left with time in hand I got to where I was going an hour later than planned. Not too bad under the circumstances, but I reckon I could have shaved another 15 minutes off that if it wasn’t for two other pieces of brainless activity (or non activity actually) on the part of my fellow car peddlers.

Firstly, why is it that so many people arrive at a roundabout and then stop and look to see if anyone is coming? Look as you are getting there and you can see whether or not you need to stop. If there’s no need to stop, then don’t.

Then there is the traffic light brigade, the worst example of which this morning was in Evesham. I’m eight cars back in the queue at a red light. The lights change. What seemed like three days later the person at the front woke up and moved off. A couple of the others followed fairly promptly, but the rest had to think about it. The bloke in front of me must have had to get the manual out to see which pedals did what as the one in front of him had almost got through the lights before he moved. And then the inevitable; he’s 30 feet from the lights and they start to change. All of a sudden he’s realised what the pedal on the right does and he goes for it, and is undeterred as the lights go red just before he gets there. Through he goes as I coast to a halt at the line.

So thanks to all you people who each wasted a few more seconds of my life again today, and thanks also to whoever caused the problem on the M5. I only missed 40 minutes of the seminar that I’d paid £400 (plus VAT) for because I know my way around and could find a different way. One of my fellow delegates wasn’t sure enough to try a diversion and missed three hours of the seminar.

The joys of motoring?

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