Author Archives: thatconsultantbloke

About thatconsultantbloke

Based in North Wiltshire UK I try to have fun whilst making things happen. I spent almost 40 years climbing the corporate ladder before getting bored with being too far from the action. Now I use my experiences of that time, the good and the bad, to keep the bills paid and have fun helping clients turn strategy into positive results.

by thatconsultantbloke | October 1, 2010 · 2:53 pm

the joys of shopping #11 – or am I being heightist?

There I am, down on all fours, rooting through the garments on the bottom shelf hunting for a colour and size that will work for me.

“May I help you sir?” chimes a voice from above. I look up to find an assistant (associate for my US friends) looming over me.

I rise to my feet as gracefully as I can (for those who haven’t met me I am 6 foot 3 and weigh around 300lbs). “Yes” I tell her, “you can tell me why you put the sizes for big guys like me on the floor and the stuff for dwarves and midgets (OK, I didn’t use those terms) on the top shelf here at eye level for me?”.

Telling me that all their stores are laid out like this is no excuse. I know that they are, and so are all of their competitors, but why? Just because one store does soemthing dumb doesn’t make it right.

I’ve seen the same thing with double height racks for sports jackets: They start top left with the short stuff, move through standard lengths to the end and back down onto the lower rail, then the long fittings are at the bottom on the right. Maybe I should sue one of these stores for the strain on my body? That might get things changed.

Seriously retailers; get some sense into this. If you must use shelves and double height rails, put the stuff for big blokes like me up top and that for the vertically challenged down low where they can get at it with ease.

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Filed under fun stuff, random rants, The Joys of Shopping

Tagged as menswear, retail, shopping, short, tall

by thatconsultantbloke | September 29, 2010 · 12:20 pm

What really goes on in the cockpit(?)

The cockpit of a modern airliner is a pretty cramped place. 32000 feet above Ireland Captain Jason Wirth and First Officer Barbara Lopez sat surrounded by controls and instrument panels as they occupied, respectively, the left and right hand seats. In their crisp white shirts and aviator shades they appeared model professionals monitoring progress while the flight computers took their Boeing 777 from Heathrow to Chicago. Behind them, separated by the obligatory post 9/11 secure door, nearly 300 passengers and crew had settled in over the hour or so that had passed since take off.
Looking through his side window Wirth remarked “Irish coast coming up. It’s about time”. Lopez peered at the weather radar on one of the glass screens before her, its scanner searching the skies for up to 100 miles ahead. She pointed to a brightly coloured patch on the screen. “That looks rough”. Pressing the transmit button she spoke again, her voice calm and clear; “Oceanic control, Amair 492”.
“Amair 492, Oceanic control. Pass message” came the crisp response.
“Amair 492, with you abeam Shannon westbound at flight level 32, anyone reporting chop at this level?” Lopez asked.
“Stand by” then, after a short break “Amair 492, Delta 194 is about 20 minutes ahead of you reporting light to medium chop at level 36. I have no-one at your level”
“Is that what we have on the radar?” asked Wirth. “Sure is” responded Lopez. “OK, ask for change of course and height” nodded Wirth.
Pressing her transmit button again, Lopez spoke “Oceanic, Amair 492. Thanks for the update. Requesting flight level 36 and course change 277”.
“Amair 492, Oceanic. Cleared to climb, flight level 36 and 277”
“Amair 492, three six and two seven seven. Good day.” replied Lopez. She reached across and entered the new data into the flight computer. As the messages passed through the giant aircraft’s systems the GE turbines and ailerons responded, the Boeing’s nose rising and moving slightly right at their command.
“How long? asked Wirth. “17 minutes” replied Lopez.
This time it was Wirth who pressed the transmit button. Back in the cabin Purser Elaine Dickenson picked the phone off the wall as the tone sounded. She spoke a single word “Purser”. “Captain speaking” Wirth told her, “expect light chop in 17 minutes; you’re cleared to serve the meals”

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Tagged as flying, people, transport, turbulence

by thatconsultantbloke | September 29, 2010 · 12:12 pm

Why can’t we get airport design right in the UK?

As someone who has been in customer service for over 45 years I get puzzled by the failure to do some simple things that could make a huge difference. I’ve just travelled through Heathrow’s Terminal 3, but these remarks aren’t confined to that building, more to what I see as a series of blindingly obvious failures. Continue reading →

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Tagged as airports, aviation, flying, people, transport

by thatconsultantbloke | September 18, 2010 · 8:48 pm

The Pope’s visit to The UK

I am disturbed by some of the aetheist led fervour around the Pope’s current visit. I don’t believe in God, any God, but I am tolerant of those that want to. I have seen the comfort that such beliefs bring and I have seen the injustice of extreme behaviour carried out in the name of a God. We all have history open to us if we want o look at it, but I will passionately defend until my last breath the right of those that want to believe if they want to.

I’m not blind, as I say, to some of the things that have been done in the name of religion, but all religions, as far as I can see, are founded on decent principles. Those who, like me, don’t share a belief in Gods and all the trappings of religion, but have chosen to attack the Papal visit with such vitriol are, in my opinion, no better than the religious bigots who have littered history with so much pain and blood.

The man is here, and his visit will bring pleasure and comfort to many of our fellow humans. Why try to spoil that?

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Tagged as bigotgate, people, the media

by thatconsultantbloke | September 17, 2010 · 7:43 pm

wiltshire wildlife encounters – the Falcon!

I was standing at the kitchen window admiring our flock of Sparrows. Allegedly in decline, but not for us this year; we have 25 – 30 at a time. Watching them flit around is a genuine pleasure for me and presents a peaceful moment or two to distract me from other tasks.

So there they were, and then they weren’t. Now I’m used to their disappearing act when something alerts them and they fly off en mass, but this time they dived low and into cover. Before I could ponder this too much a grey shape flew in from behind the cherry tree to land atop one of my bean-pole wigwams. Oh, it’s a pigeon that’s spooked them I thought, but…

The arrival was a blue/grey colour, but a little taller and slimmer than our fat pigeons. A barred chest, and white markings on the head framing cold eyes and a hooked beak. Perched there with steely talons was a falcon. I thought first maybe a Sparrowhawk, but the colour was wrong; no it was a Peregrine.

It surveyed the garden for about 90 seconds, sat tall on its perch, then took flight at high speed and roosted briefly in a neighbouring silver birch before flying off out of view.

I’ve not seen a Peregrine since I was about 13, and then only in flight. To have one barely 15 feet away was a rare privilege. I worry for my precious Sparrows with someone like that in the neighbourhood, but nature is nature and, as I’ve written here before, she can’t be controlled by the likes of us.

A special day.

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Tagged as birds, cotswolds, falcons, gardens, hawks, swindon, wildlife

by thatconsultantbloke | September 17, 2010 · 8:34 am

Nobby Stiles; a true hero

Very sad news that Nobby is going to have to sell his treasures. This guy is a true hero from the days when football was a sport and not a bunch of overpaid (insert own adjective).

He played his heart own for his clubs and his fans and put a lot back into the game when his playing days were over. Surely the game can afford to help some of the people that made it what it is today? If the players at Manchester United, or at Middlesborough and Preston, gave up an hours pay each it would mount up, so why not make it a days pay each lads? Buy his stuff and give it back.

Oh, and buy his autobiography. It should be compulsary reading for all youngsters, regardless of whether or not soccer is their game.

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Tagged as authors, bowenjohnj, johnjbowen, manutd, nobbystiles, people, soccer, the media, TV

by thatconsultantbloke | September 5, 2010 · 6:48 pm

what am I doing?

It has been a busy few days, and I’ve not blogged much. My main targets are to ensure that I have a 600 work Monday Musing done and posted around 0600 on that alloted day, and to complete the weekend round up on Motorpsort Mania. Those are the disciplined elements, and the other posts tend to take a back seat.

With a new contract having started up I have been putting that at the top of my list, and I also have a backlog of DIY to get on with, so those two have been my priorities lately.

Having said that, I’ve done a couple more posts on For Food Fans and want to get that ticking along more regularly. I also want to write more retro pieces for Motorsport Mania as my blog on the Sid Collins eulogy for Eddie Sachs has been attracting visits and feedback. I have a fund of stories, but actually telling them well is an art I need to practice. The next Monday Musing comes at this from a different angle for me and I want to try and do some more of these different posts. Maybe the upcoming trip to the USA will give me some time to try out some ideas; the transatlantic flight and various other periods in transit might be eased by writing, even if a lot of it ends up on my personal spike.

On the reading front I’ve got a couple of old books lined up to read when I can get round to them. Currently I’m reading Leo McKinstry’s Lancaster. Covers a lot of ground I already know well, but it’s keeping me quiet first and last thing. For the trip I have a few options, but not sure what I’ll take yet. I always buy books over there; Barnes & Noble is irresistable as is Borders.

Anyway, that is it from me for this post. Thanks for reading, and see you next time.

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by thatconsultantbloke | August 27, 2010 · 6:44 am

avast ye swabs; talk like a pirate day 2010

September 19th will be Talk Like a Pirate Day 2010, so avast there and prepare to shiver your timbers, your own timbers that is, shivering someone else’s could get ye keelhauled ye swabs!

Some recommended reading:

Pirattitude!: So You Wannna Be a Pirate?: Here’s How!

Pirate Life, The: Unleashing Your Inner Buccaneer

And ‘ere be the history on this ‘ere fine web site, so read on, scurvy dogs: Pirattitude

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Tagged as pirates, pirattitude, talk like a pirate

by thatconsultantbloke | August 12, 2010 · 5:15 am