Sir
It seems to me that Mrs May called for an erection, her campaign has been a cock up and could result in a prick entering number ten. Or perhaps I just have a penis fixation?
Yours etc
Disgusted of Dorcan
Sir
It seems to me that Mrs May called for an erection, her campaign has been a cock up and could result in a prick entering number ten. Or perhaps I just have a penis fixation?
Yours etc
Disgusted of Dorcan
Sir
Your columns, like all media chanels, are festooned with the question of rights. Human rights, women’s rights, minority rights and more all in the name of equality.
Yet if there is to be true equality who will make a stand for the lefts?
Yours etc
Sir
If at any time I decide to sieze power my first action, after signing some execution warrants, will be to abolish the stupidity of daylight saving.
Yours faithfully
Disgruntled of Dorcan
Sir
A disturbing thought occurs to me. If comedians raising money for charity is Comic Relief and sports personalities raising money for charities is Comic Relief what would happen if the politicians joined in? Continue reading
Sir
As a primary school boy in the late 1950s and early 60s I learnt my times tables, along with the rest of the class, by chanting them or, in the case of one school by singing them. At my last primary school we were taught by the headmaster who used to take off a shoe and beat time. He could also hurl said shoe with venomous accuracy at anyone he felt was faltering keeping the beat going slapping his bare hand on the desk until his shoe was returned by one of us. Continue reading
Sir
Many years ago I attended training in order to improve my two wheeled skills, for in those days one could ride certain motor cycles on the road without having to pass a two wheel test. One of the key lessons was that one should obtain a motor cycle that was appropriate to one’s size; the principle being that you needed to be able to put your feet on the ground when at rest and the point was ably demonstrated by one of the instructors who was about five foot two. It was something that the dealerships also took seriously and would try hard to dissuade buyers from choosing a bike that they would find hard to manage. Continue reading
Sir
The power of advertising is unquestionable and people often cite my criticism of what I regard as a bad advert as being proof in point; “Are, but you remember it, so they did their job” will be crowed gleefully at me. Continue reading
Sir
Am I in some form of late life male crisis? My email inbox suggests that I might be, and possibly even that I am leading a dual life, for I am bombarded by hotel and flight booking confirmations that I know nothing about, letters telling me that my sexual performance is wholly inadequate and that the equipment that I would deploy in said performance is too small and lacking in rigidity, but then there are those letters from ladies, mainly it seems in Moscow, that I have pleasured to such extreme that they want me to come back and rescue them from their dreary and unfulfilled lives without me and my bedroom skills. Continue reading
Sir
Of course the country is up in arms about the tax plans for pensioners, but it is hardly a stealth tax is it? It was publically announced in a high profile speech and the media have been banging on about it every day since. It doesn’t seem like a very stealthy approach to my way of thinking. Continue reading
Sir
Let me see if I have this right; I, as a taxpayer and someone who has had the good sense to change the PIN on my voicemail, an action helpfully suggested in the instructions for every mobile phone that I had had use of, am having to fund this appalling waste of money that we have in the Levenson Inquiry while various assorted public figures and so called celebreties who were stupid enough not to change their PIN are able to both waste my tax money and get compensated for their stupidity and negligence.
Somehow something seems badly wrong in this world.
Yours etc
Diusgusted of Dorcan